Relationship Therapy
Is Your Relationship In Trouble?
Have you reached a breaking point in your relationship?
Are poor communication, unresolved conflict, or emotional hurts driving a wedge between you?
Do you suspect that negative past trauma or neglect could make it harder for you to develop trust or feel safe with others?
Feeling stuck in a relationship that’s no longer working can be a lonely experience. If you and your partner have grown apart, you may worry that things will never be the same again. Regardless of what problems brought you to this point—such as financial struggles, infidelity, physical intimacy, or addiction—you might be at an impasse and uncertain of what happens next.
You Might Feel Lost
When you lack security in your relationship, it can affect all aspects of your life. Big emotions, such as anger and sadness, could preoccupy your thoughts, making it difficult to focus on day-to-day commitments.
You may have trouble sleeping or lose your appetite due to stress over what the future holds. Perhaps you feel hopeless that the situation will ever change or wonder if the problems you’re experiencing could be your fault.
Whether you’re currently in a relationship that’s struggling to stay afloat or hoping to gain more understanding of how your past experiences impact the way you connect with others, therapy provides an opportunity to gain valuable insight and clarity. Working with a therapist, either individually or as a couple, can help you navigate relationships with more confidence.
Relationships Are More Complex Than We Realize
Although the relationships we form throughout our lives serve as the roadmap for how we experience the world, cultivating healthy, secure connections with others isn’t always a given. Many of us still believe the myth that when we meet “the one,” it should be effortless, but that’s not always true. In reality, all relationships—whether they’re with our partners, parents, friends, or coworkers—take commitment and work to maintain.
In any relationship, each person enters into it with a unique history that shapes their perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors. The way we are raised by caregivers significantly shapes our interactions with others. As we reach adulthood, navigating how we think and feel—not only about our loved ones but about ourselves—can be filled with pitfalls that lead to disconnection, misunderstanding, and conflict.
Fixing Problems From The Inside Is Hard To Do
When we find ourselves at odds with our partner, it’s easy to become stuck if we don’t seek outside help. That’s because it’s hard to remain objective when we’re emotionally invested in being “right” or have blind spots about the part we play in the dynamic.
What’s more, when our feelings get hurt or trust is broken, we may choose to withdraw rather than risk further emotional wounding. If we lack the practical skills to resolve conflict, hold onto past grievances, or convince ourselves that all the fault lies with our partner and not ourselves, we can’t move forward.
The truth is, we don’t always enter adult relationships equipped with the tools we need to navigate the complexities of relationships. The good news is therapy can help you understand more about how your past affects current dynamics and, with this awareness, learn how you can experience healthier, more satisfying relationships.
Therapy Provides The Insights To Improve Your Relationship
If you keep getting trapped in the same arguments with your partner, you’re probably feeling frustrated and exhausted. Perhaps you’ve noticed the same unhealthy dynamics cropping up over and over again, but don’t know how to avoid them. The good news is that therapy can help you unpack what each of you brings into the relationship, allowing you to heal long-standing emotional wounds, discover more effective ways to communicate, and strengthen your connection.
Individual and couples therapy is a safe and non-judgmental space to explore common issues that arise in relationships, including lack of intimacy, sexual incompatibility, poor communication, financial pressures, infidelity, and unresolved conflict. With guidance from your counselor, you can identify what underlying issues may be exacerbating these problems and how to improve the way you relate to each other.
As therapists, we recognize that not all relationships can, or should, be repaired. Counseling provides a safe, supportive space to discover what your needs are and how to express them. By helping you leave anger and resentment at the door and explore what’s going on objectively, the goal isn’t necessarily to stay together, but rather to determine whether each of you has the desire to make it work. If you don’t, we can help you navigate next steps.
Therapy Provides Strategies And Skills For Improving Your Relationship
Counseling sessions can be customized for couples or individuals, based on your needs and preferences. In individual therapy, we can broaden our definition of relationships to include family, friendships, and colleagues. In couples work, we can focus on helping to improve the dynamics with your partner.
Once your therapist has a better understanding of your relationship concerns, they will collaborate with you to develop goals for treatment. Some examples may include:
- Implementing healthy boundary-setting;
- Avoiding stonewalling and withdrawal in favor of open, honest communication;
- Strategies for improving emotional and physical intimacy; and
- Making time for each other in positive ways that prioritize your relationship.
No matter your focus, we aim to provide expertise, knowledge, and tools for improving your emotional vocabulary and ability to communicate your needs more effectively.
The Modalities We Include In Relationship Counseling
- Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) can help you reduce reactivity in conversations and ensure you communicate from a more authentic, vulnerable part of yourself, fostering more compassion and understanding.
- Attachment-based approaches explain how early relationships influence how you and your partner relate to each other.
- Somatic Therapy is a body-based approach that broadens awareness of the nervous system’s responses, helping you recognize when you’ve become dysregulated.
- Brainspotting addresses any unresolved trauma that contributes to underlying anxiety, depression, shame, or self-esteem issues that impact relationships; and
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help tackle the thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and beliefs that lead to disconnection, lack of trust, or poor communication.
While it’s true that you can’t change someone else, when you work on yourself in therapy, the dynamics of your relationships can’t help but change. Exploring what makes you tick will in turn make you more receptive to what loved ones bring to the table, fostering more compassion, empathy, and connection.
You May Still Have Some Questions About Relationship Therapy…
What if my partner doesn’t want to go to relationship therapy?
It’s not uncommon for one partner to hesitate about relationship counseling. If yours is reluctant to try it, you can start individually—your growth and changes can still impact the relationship positively. Try having a calm, non-blaming conversation about why you would like them to join you. Change often begins by embarking on this journey alone—your partner may be motivated by your effort and dedication to work on the relationship. We are here to support you, even if your partner isn’t ready yet.
I worry our relationship therapist will take sides.
Understandably, sharing the intimate details of your relationship with a counselor sounds scary. However, in relationship counseling, the client is not either individual—it’s the couple. Remaining unbiased is a primary tenet of relationship therapy. For the therapist to do their job and be helpful, it’s not about taking sides, it’s about pointing out how each of you shows up in the relationship and affects the other person.
I know I screwed up, but I don’t want to be blamed for everything, either.
Wanting to improve things without carrying all the blame is completely understandable. Relationship counseling focuses on understanding the root causes and patterns without assigning fault. Both partners contribute to the dynamic, whether it’s in subtler or more direct ways. It’s okay to acknowledge your part and shortcomings without feeling like you have to carry all the blame.
We Can Help You Get Closer And Find Common Ground
Relationship therapy with Alaska Counseling Services is available to help you find a path forward. Please call us at 907-830-8262 or use our contact page to get started, either in-person or online.
Have any questions? Send us a message!
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